I’ve finished editing.  I am so close to querying and it’s exciting and terrifying and also non-eventful.  I have two new ideas for stories, and one is from the perspective of an adult (I’ve been writing mostly children’s and young adult) and so it will be challenging but hopefully as interesting in the execution of the idea as it sounds now in my mind.

This post is a condensed form of: how I relate to the Cosmos, how we relate to the cosmos, and if the cosmos extends to a shared conscious energy that all organic things are a part of.  The Cosmos is a subject many stories have gotten away from, yet it is not without accident that our everyday conversations do not reference the stellar.

I decided to write this post as a continuation of my previous post, to better flesh out my fascination with stories that reach far beyond the limited scope of human life.  It is the reason why I love The Sandman series.  I yearn for things prolific.

I. Myself and the Cosmos

At times, my drive to be someone prolific nauseates me- because I am not in the slightest.  I bumble and curse and gossip and rant, and who would ever equate me with someone who can offer wisdom?  In some way I suppose it is freeing to let that notion fly out the window and just strive to enjoy each minute of life I am given.  Yet, there is a drive in me to avoid being a nobody. What is a nobody? I’m not sure. Perhaps it is someone who the Cosmos have forgotten; someone who is removed from the fabric of consciousness.

It is a vain desire and I know it, but still it persists. I want to be special, just like you do.

II. The Cosmos and Us

When I become entrenched in thoughts otherworldly, I grapple with my identity as a member of the Universe.  Too often we shrink ourselves and limit the scope of wonder to a lens which only encompasses thoughts regarding the next minute or the previous hour.  We miss the magic that is seeped in our world; how an eclipse blinds us; how the leaves flash gold in autumn; how a hiking trail can drown out the tie to society as it swallows the individual with its undulating, sublime aura.

Yet, it is understandable that we do so, as the magic of our world and worlds unknown to us becomes polluted by murder-suicides and university shootings and disappearing planes and hunger.  We have too many immediate problems to focus on, and that prevents us from fully immersing ourselves in wonderment.  I do find that reading offers us a retreat into this wonderment.  Love does as well.  The only cautionary warning I have found about love is that at times, it blinds.  It insulates from terror and catalyzes a retreat into the self and the significant other, and the two-person union becomes the sphere of happiness; the rest of the world is drowned out.

At times this is good. Of course it is! Love is a refuge. But when it leads to a cycle of ignorance, it becomes harmful (I know that sounds really vague and so maybe I will dive deeper into it in another post).

It is frustrating to me that we destroy the beautiful things of our world, and we destroy each other for our own selfish needs and wants. Perhaps what is so stunning about outer space is that it operates in harmony, and here on Earth our mode of being is discordance.  Some of this stems from our disregard for who we are.  We are small, but we are not nothing.  We are made of stardust, and our roots are not here on Earth, but up there, in the blue of our sky that bleeds into the vacuous black.  We dishonor its magnificence with our apathy.

III. The Common Consciousness: Is it Good or Evil or Neither?

I would rather die in an avalanche than in a school shooting, if I had the power to choose.  Nature is not malicious, and there is something less frightening about drowning in the ocean versus burning in a plane crash.  The deaths that occur within Nature are uncorrupted by the evil that dwells in each of us but that only some choose to act upon.  Of course, I could be wrong.  If everything organic truly belongs to the same cosmic conscious energy, then our good as well as our evil is shared in our communion of life.

What I have garnered from thinking about us in relation to the Cosmos is that we are responsible for remembering that “us” extends into the unknown.  We have a responsibility to the sublime; to admire it and cower before it and honor it.

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These are just thoughts.  This is my pathway to navigating the evidence that I am presented with each and every time I think about the experiences I have lived.